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England are a goal ahead -- that's a win if it stays that way.#-#6714
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Eww... No, he's waiting for marriage. Besides, I don't think he'd doink a Jew. That'd be dirty!#Jenni Miller-#7159
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And now... The Larch.#-#2545
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All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.
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All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.#-#2114
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Do you think your kitty tranquilizers will stop me? ...Feeling sleepy.#Pandora-#5959
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A ship on the beach is a lighthouse to the sea.#Dutch proverb-#1346
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Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it out of sight of women.#Rita Rudner-#18788
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For every vision there is an equal and opposite revision.#-#7643
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A geek is a geek is a geek. Caves are attractive to them. Sunlight and crisp fall air are the sirens that lure them away from the purity of their mission. A tan should be a warning sign to women that the guy might be faking it in the geek department.#Abigail Rabinowitz-#853
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An economist is one who knows 200 ways to make love but doesn't know any women.#Nick Kessler-#2353
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Actually, the point of a zoo is not to provide a running track. The point is to imprison animals for the amusement of sweating Iowans who have come 1500 miles to learn that the pandas are not available for viewing. You want to jog, go to Rock Creek Park, #James Lileks-#1675
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HELP.. I need a tagline. HELP.. Not just any tagline.#-#9355
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How do you keep a moron in suspense?#-#9799
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It is more blessed to give than to receive.#Acts of the Apostles-ch 20, v 35#15938
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Mud is not one of the 4 food groups.#Bart Simpson-Writing 500 times on the board#19259
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It could be worse--it might be raining.
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Innuendo, n.: Italian Suppository.#-#15481
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How do you throw away a garbage can?#-#9813
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Classic oxymoron: Voting Power.#-#4716
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Go directly to jail. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.#-#8206
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If you see a bright streak in the sky coming at you, duck.#-Satellite Safety Tip 14#14764
