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If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can POSSIBLY imagine!#Ben Kenobi-#14779
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I think if i could turn my mind into some kind of amusement park ride it would be really successful. It scares ME half the time and I know what's in it.#R.M. Weiner-#11925
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I'd love to, but my favorite commercial is on TV.#-#12720
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I USED TO HEART MY DUMB FRIENDS UNTIL I DECIDED TO CLUB THEM ALL WITH A SPADE AND SELL THEIR DIAMONDS TO BUY MORE RAM.#Faisal Jawdat-#12109
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My testicles actually grow in size every time I drive that fast.#-#19611
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A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them.#P.J. O'Rourke-#1013
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I may be fat but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.#-#11507
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May you have eyes like a hawk and a spouse with warts.#-#18554
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My book recommends a twirling wedgie for people who ask for too much.#Dogbert-#19351
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Dean is an experienced customer relations team leader... and he's now authorized to bathe you in the healing light of forgiveness.#Jesus Christ-The Onion Radio News#5392
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A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.#-#1412
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As a composer i take my hat off to you. As a man i put on ten.
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[Insert multi-culti expletive of choice], when are you going to get it straight that the bits only flow one way in this relationship?#Rohit Khare-#480
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Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed.#Martin Luther King, Jr.-1929-1968#7807
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Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.#Redd Foxx-#9240
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I thought that Diet Coke used filtered, imported antartic ice floe water and specially ground nutrasweet. And those bubbles, aren't they french?#-#12036
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But my little voice TOLD me to do it!#-#4124
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Don't worry, it's not loaded.#-Famous last words#6326
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I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or process#Say Anything-#10707
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Mark Rein-Hagen has written 6 combat systems. You'd think he'd get it right sometime.#unknown EveCon attendee-#18301
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If a real programmer is around at 9am, it s because he was up all night.
