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Hire the morally handicapped.#-#9557
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Funny road sign: SLOW MEN AT WORK.#-#7933
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Faisal, I am at this moment checking your quote file. Don't disappoint.#Mike Wallace-#7298
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It's the really good ones that break your heart.#David Scharch-#16635
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Fulldeckism: Born ugly, built to last.#-#7908
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I'd love to, but I'm converting my calendar watch from Julian to Gregorian.#-#12681
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God does play dice, (and) sometimes confuses us by throwing them where they can't be seen.#Stephen Hawking-The Nature of Space and Time#8244
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caution: if you write code like this, immediately after you are fired the person assigned to maintaining your code after you leave will resign#Philip Machanick-Learn C and C++ in 5 Days#4442
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Hold a true friend with both hands.#Nigerian Proverb-#9635
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If you tried something like that on my birthday, you'd be standing at the business end of a hissy fit.#Friends-#14827
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Newest sign seen along side the road on the expressway: Next Exit: Gas, Food, and Ammo#-#20019
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I was called a sex thimble.#Dudley Moore-#12216
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Rabbit's clever#" said Pooh thoughtfully. "Yes-" said Piglet#124
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Maybe you can help me straighten out my Longfellow.#Rodney Dangerfield-#18664
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I told my girlfriend I've got money to burn and she said, Well# I've got the matches.""-#12049
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Maybe love shouldn't be such hard work. Let's not tell each other our sad stories.#Jerry Maguire-#18649
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Dawn, n.: The time when men of reason go to bed.
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A big man has no time really to do anything but just sit and be big.#F. Scott Fitzgerald-#555
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A conference is an elite meeting on equal terms; a congress is a group of elites meeting on opposite terms; a convention is a mob meeting on equal terms; a course is an elite instructing a mob; and a colloquium is a group capable of considering all these #Malcolm Bradbury-#690
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LIAR: I cannot recommend him highly enough.#-#17471
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...meanwhile, back at the ranch, Tonto disguised as a teabag is up to his neck in hot water.#-#322
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I'd rather be with an animal...#Pearl Jam-#12749
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I'd love to, but I'm going through cherry cheesecake withdrawal.#-#12687
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For your penance, say five Hail Marys and one loud BLAH.#-#7722
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$$$ not found -- (A)bort (R)efinance (B)ankrupt?#-#224
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Bandits on the Information Superhighway"
