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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.#George Burns-#8661
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fuck ice frisbee, it's all about BUTTSLEDDING#Colleen McManus-#7895
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Maybe some people think verbing fantastics language.#Adam Rifkin-#18652
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My brother has invented a new coffin. It just goes over the head. It's for people who are dead from the neck up. Do you want to buy one?#-#19361
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Adweanne#Rocky-#1752
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If you were to condense the best of the Web down to a single phrase, what would it be? What words capture the Internet's purest essence? No, not 'free porn'.#Greg Knauss-#14893
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I suppose it's a reasonable ploy. Crying is no more odious than the other goofy, ill-advised scams we use to convince women to do the senseless, clothesless, irresponsible things we most wish them to do. If it works, hey.#Men's Health-#11846
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How come all the buttons keep flying off my shirt?#-#9762
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Lightning is one helluva murder weapon. And the best part is, it cannot be traced.#-#17726
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A motorcycle is a combination of pony, blow dryer, and vibrator - perfect for girls of all ages.#Colin MacDonald-#1150
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My problem with most athletic challenges is training. I'm lazy and find that workouts cut into my drinking time.#A Wolverine is Eating My Leg-#19581
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May your only son be the goalie on a nudist hockey team.#-#18618
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Don't have to prove anything. I just put it out there and retract it after the damage is done. Have you not been paying attention to the way the world works?#John Dobbin-#6159
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I am not myself these days, for all I know I might be you. There's more than room enough for two inside my mind.#John Jasper-Drood#10120
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Bio-personals: I don't always express myself on the surface, but I'm looking for a signal that you appreciate my complexity. Send me the right message that will penetrate my membranes, turn on my protein expression and release my potential energy.#-#3749
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All of these free condoms are really burning a hole in my pocket.#Chris Caldwell-#2016
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If the shoe fits, it's ugly.#-#14268
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Just like margarine our name is spreading.#Fairport Convention-#16889
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God is dead and I want His job.#-#8274
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CAUTION: OBJECTS IN MIR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR.#-#4443
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Do not underestimate the power of the Force.#-#5876
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Meanwhile, those of us who can compute can hardly be expected to keep writing papers saying I can do the following useless calculation in two seconds#" and indeed what editor would publish them?"-Oliver Atkin#18693
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He that will not apply new remedies must expect new evils, for time is the greatest innovator.#Francis Bacon-Essays#8956
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Expect a letter from a friend who will ask a favor of you.#-#7223
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Bigamy is having one spouse too many. Monogamy is the same.#-#3731
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Head Cleaner - rotary brillo pad.#-#9233
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Discretion in speech is more than eloquence.#Francis Bacon-#5742
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He who always goes against the fashion is himself its slave.#La Rochefoucald-#9000
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Always tell a woman she's beautiful, especially if she isn't.#-#2209
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If I cannot bend Heaven, I shall move Hell.#Publius Vergilius Maro (Virgil)-#13825
