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I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I bet you can really see it in those genitals.#Jack Handey-#12625
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He's dead Jim. You get his tricorder, I'll get his watch#-#9134
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I even bubble if you pop my cork just right.#Jon Gillespie-#10737
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Feel disillusioned? I ve got some great new illusions.
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Computer genius and billionaire Bill Gates' wife is pregnant. Gates explained, 'Don't let the name Microsoft fool you.'#Conan O'Brien-#4919
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I thought I'd include the introduction. Why is it at the end, though? Does that make it a contradiction?#Megan Coughlin-#12031
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Angst: You've seen it (you know you have) late at night, in a mirror. It has deep, hollow eyes - too exhausted to close - and looks like someone you thought you knew.#Dirk John Fischer-#2624
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DEVICEHIGH: Your device driver on drugs.#-#5576
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Is that liquid nitrogen?#Real Genius-#15650
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It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations.#Winston Churchill-My Early Life#15781
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I can't use Windows. My cat ate my mouse.#-#10377
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Go away.#-#8205
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A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.#-#623
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In these matters the only certainty is that nothing is certain.#Pliny the Elder-#15383
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Gymming? No, I'm missing a fifth of my big toe...#Rohit Khare-#8570
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I accidentally installed the deer whistles on my car backwards. Now everywhere I go, I'm chased by a herd of deer.#Steven Wright-#9982
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God gave us two ears and one mouth. That ought to tell us something.#-#8249
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Artists are born. That's the problem.#-#2979
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Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other house of the dead.#From A Horror Movie Character's Survival Guide-#19916
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Hey now - don't get to thinking you're the only socially inept loser we have. You just happen to have passed the bar first. Lawyer.#Mike Wallace-#9454
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In keeping with current trends, I have realized that it is necessary for me to hate people, lest I be deemed unfashionable. Therefore I have decided that I hate Josh and bbz. I hate Josh because he talks about computers way too much and shoves ash trays d#Steve Bajzek-#15220
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New country song: The only thing I can count on now is my fingers.#-#19990
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If you don t want to be replaced by a machine, don t act like one.
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If you don't want to be replaced by a machine, don't act like one.#Arno Penzias-Ideas and Information#14597
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I don't want life to resemble art. I want life to BE art.#-#10687
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Give a monkey a brain and he will swear that he is the center of the universe.
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Entrepreneurship is the last refuge of the trouble-making individual.#James K. Glassman-Oct-76#6745
